


Secret Depths

by 27dragons



Series: imaginetonyandbucky fills [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, First Dates, Kissing, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, commitment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:01:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3604254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27dragons/pseuds/27dragons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally a prompt fill for the <a href="http://imaginetonyandbucky.tumblr.com/">imaginetonyandbucky</a> blog, for this prompt: Imagine a Dom/sub au where bucky was born a submissive, something that hydra took advantage of while they made him into the winter soldier. after he comes back to avengers tower after catws and meets tony, they mutually start liking each other and he wants to start a relationship with tony except he is wary of showing anyone his submissive side in fear that it will be exploited again. cue tony being a gentle dom and showing him that bdsm is not about harshness and discipline but love and trust.</p><p>(Sequels have been requested/planned, and will be added here after they are posted to the blog, but each chapter should be more or less complete. No cliffhangers!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Mildly Dubious Consent" tag is entirely because this is a D/s biological-imperative AU in which subs drop periodically into subspace whether they want it to happen or not. All characters herein are actually as respectful of each others' boundaries as they can be, given that premise.

When Bucky came back to himself, he was on the couch, wrapped in blankets, his head on Steve’s thigh. Steve was absently finger-combing his hair and reading, though as soon as Bucky stirred, Steve set the book aside. “Better now?”

"Yeah." Bucky sighed and sat up slowly, letting the after-effects buzz pleasantly under his skin. "Thanks."

"Of course," Steve said. He offered Bucky a bottle of water. "You should tell him, though."

Bucky only just managed to avoid choking on his mouthful of water. “Tell who what?” he tried, but got no further in the face of Steve’s flat expression. Bucky could feel his shoulders hunching. “I was talking while I was under, again?” he guessed.

"I’d have to gag you to shut you up," Steve teased. Bucky winced — he hated gags — and Steve put a hand on Bucky’s knee to reassure him. "I wouldn’t," Steve promised. "But seriously, you should at least ask him out."

"I can’t," Bucky groaned. "If we started dating, he’d find out for sure." He wanted to, though. He and Tony had been flirting for months, each exchange pushing the boundary a little more. If Tony had been a baseline, like Bucky was pretending to be, he’d have already gone for it. But Tony was a Dom, and a strong one at that — Tony’s pheromones made Bucky weak in the knees even when he  _wasn’t_  starting a drop cycle; there’d be no hiding that response if they were seeing more of each other.

"That’s kind of the point," Steve said. "It’d last longer, be easier on your system if you were getting to drop more often, with someone you care about."

"I care about you," Bucky said, stung.

"Hey, I know that," Steve soothed. "But it’s not the same, and you know it. I’ve seen the way you two dance around each other. You could be—"

"But what if he likes gags?" Bucky demanded. "What if he—" He bit back on the words. Knowing intellectually that Tony wouldn’t exploit his biological drives the way Hydra had was very different from actually putting himself into Tony’s hands.

"Tony’s not Hydra," Steve said firmly. "He’s not anything like Hydra."

"I know," Bucky sighed, slumping against Steve’s side. "But I can  _trust_  you.”

***

Shit,  _shit_ , Steve was supposed to have been back from his mission two days ago, but it was running long and Bucky could feel the twist in his gut, the tingly numbness at the back of his neck, that meant he was starting another cycle again, already.  _Shit_.

Maybe… Maybe he could get Steve to talk him through it on the phone?

Bucky gave that idea up almost as soon as it occurred. Even if Steve  _could_  manage to slip away from his mission for a few hours — which was doubtful — Bucky knew exactly what he’d say: “Why would you settle for this when the Dom you actually want is  _right there_?”

Maybe he could just hide in his room until it was over. Going through a drop cycle unpartnered wasn’t pleasant, but it was hardly  _fatal_.

But a couple of hours past dinner, Bucky’s stomach was in knots and his neck was buzzing and it seemed… ridiculous to power through the urges, to ride it out in pain, when it would be so easy to just… surrender. “JARVIS? Where’s Tony right now?”

When the elevator opened, Tony was waiting for him, having apparently been warned by JARVIS. Tony’s scent hit Bucky like a bag of bricks and he stumbled. He would have fallen to his knees with the force of it except that Tony caught him and held him up.

"Woah, hey, watch out there, Sparky! You okay?"

Bucky wasn’t okay. Tony was  _too close_  and  _touching him_  and his neck was prickling and Bucky just needed some air, needed— The whole workshop was suffused with Tony’s scent, of course it was. Coming down here had been  _stupid_ , the stupidest thing he’d ever—

"Hey? Bucky? Look at me now." Tony sounded worried.

Bucky lifted his head to look at Tony and nearly sighed in relief. The room was spinning, too bright, but Tony… Tony was the unmoving center, the fulcrum. Tony made everything better.

Tony’s eyes widened when they met Bucky’s. “Son of a bitch,” he whispered. His grip on Bucky tightened, though. “Come on, let’s get you sitting down somewhere comfortable. JARVIS? Blackout conditions right now, please.”

Bucky went willingly where Tony led, sat on the somewhat battered couch and drank the cup of water Tony gave him. Then Tony crouched in front of him and that felt strange, but Tony was still watching him with those sharp eyes, focused and commanding, so Bucky didn’t say anything.

Tony put his hands on Bucky’s knees, and that was good, grounding. “All right, help me out here some, can you do that?”

Bucky nodded.

"Okay. Tell me whether I’m right: You’re a biological submissive, but you’ve been — somehow — passing for baseline." Bucky nodded again. "I’m guessing Steve’s been covering your cycles. Maybe since you first started dropping, yeah?"

Bucky could feel his neck growing warm as he nodded, and he dropped his gaze.

"Hey, no, eyes on me." Tony’s voice was gentle but unmistakeably threaded with command. Bucky looked up again quickly, and Tony smiled a little, thumb rubbing over Bucky’s knee, and said, "Thank you." Bucky felt dizzy with how fast he was dropping.

"Are you and Steve contracted at all?"

Bucky hesitated, then shook his head  _no_.

"What was that?" Tony tipped his head, studying Bucky’s face. "Christ, you’re deep. Can you talk at all right now?"

Bucky’s tongue felt heavy in his mouth. “Little bit,” he whispered.

"Good. Tell me what that pause was about. Do you have an informal contract with Steve? Gentleman’s agreement sort of thing?"

"Yeah," Bucky agreed. "Not in… Never said so. Just. He’s always…"

"Yeah, okay, I get it," Tony said, not impatient, not really, just letting Bucky know he could stop fighting for words. "But he kind of went off on that trip and didn’t set you up with a backup, which is bad manners. And Steve can be a total shit when he’s in a mood, but I don’t think he’d deliberately leave someone hanging like that. Especially not  _you_.”

"Didn’t think I’d cycle again for a few more days," Bucky whispered. He knew he was supposed to keep his eyes on Tony, but he couldn’t quite maintain it. "Prob’ly hoping I’d ask you anyway."

Tony didn’t call him on the eye contact, which was a relief. “Are you two, um, romantically involved?”

That would’ve been funny if Bucky hadn’t been down so deep. He shook his head, grateful for an answer he could give without having to talk.

Tony sighed, but Bucky couldn’t tell if it was a frustrated sigh or a sigh of relief or some other kind of sigh. Just… a long breath. He sneaked a glance at Tony’s face and found Tony’s eyes had turned away, staring into the middle distance and thinking. Bucky let his gaze drop again, looking at Tony’s hands on the tops of his knees.

Finally, Tony shifted again, and one hand came up to cup Bucky’s chin, lifting his head until he met Tony’s eyes again. “I’m going to take care of you,” Tony said, slow and clear, watching to make sure he understood what Tony was saying.

Bucky nodded, and through the haze, felt a twist of nervousness. What if…

"Unfortunately, you are way too deep already for us to have a proper conversation about limits and consent," Tony said, "so we’re going to keep it very simple. No limit-pushing, no sex, nothing that makes you uncomfortable, if I can help it. Understand?"

Bucky didn’t, really. He was the sub;  _his_  comfort was a secondary consideration, at best. But he understood that Tony was setting the rules, and he understood those rules, even if he didn’t understand the reasons for them, so he nodded.

"Good boy. Next time — if there is a next time — I hope we’ll be able to talk  _before_  you start dropping. For now, tell me your safeword.”

Bucky blinked up at him. He knew what the word meant, but… He shook his head.

Tony sighed again, and rubbed at his forehead. “Right. Brought up in the ’20s and ’30s, before subs were allowed to be  _people_. Damn it… Have you ever needed to ask Steve to stop, before?”

Bucky bit his lip and nodded. “Just once,” he whispered, because he didn’t want Tony to think poorly of Steve. It had been just after Steve had gotten the serum, before he’d fully learned the limits of his own strength.

"Okay. Hey, don’t look like that, I’m not judging either of you. Sometimes you need to stop, lots of reasons why. What’d you say that got him to stop?"

"Don’t remember… ‘Ow’?"

Tony snorted out a laugh, and Bucky felt his lips tug in response. “Captain America is a secret softie to his subs,” Tony chuckled. “You have forever tarnished his image for me now.”

Bucky thought about protesting that, but the sparkle in Tony’s eyes suggested he was teasing, and maybe that was… okay, even if it felt a little strange to be so playful and… and  _silly_ , at a time like this. It felt… nice, and Bucky wondered if Tony was often like this with his subs.

Bucky could get used to that, probably.

Tony’s smirk eased into something softer and he brushed a thumb across Bucky’s lips. “That’s beautiful, there,” he said softly. “We should try to get you to smile more. But for now…” He pushed up from his crouch and stood, then offered a hand to Bucky. “Come on, let’s see what we can do to get you fully submerged.”

Bucky took the offered hand and let Tony pull him up and lead him toward one of several workbenches. “I do have some work to do that must be finished tonight,” Tony said, “because time and legally-binding business contracts wait for no sub crisis.” Tony smiled again to let him know it was a joke, which was nice. “So I’m going to have to sit here and get it done. You” —He settled into the chair, then pointed to the floor beside it— “kneel.”

The word contained that thread of command that slithered straight to Bucky’s core, and Bucky found himself on his knees before he’d even fully processed it. He looked up at Tony in surprise.

Tony brushed his hand over Bucky’s hair, dragged knuckles down the side of Bucky’s face. “Very good,” he said, and the praise curled around Bucky’s spine like a warm kitten, loosening muscles Bucky hadn’t realized were tight. “I want you to stay there and be quiet and as still as you can manage, until I’ve finished this. If you need to use the bathroom, it’s right over there — just get up and go, and then come back. If you need contact, you can lean on my leg, but please don’t jostle my arms while I’m working, or I’ll fry this circuit board. Got it?”

As instructions went, they were very simple and abundantly clear; Bucky nodded easily.

Bucky was still looking at him, but Tony reached down and captured Bucky’s chin anyway, to keep him from looking away too soon. “If you have a question that won’t wait, ask,” he said seriously. “If you need to call a halt, say ‘stop’, or just get up and walk out. You will not be punished in any way for any of those things. Do you understand?”

Bucky’s chest ached as he nodded. Safeword. He had a safeword and it was his, and he had permission to walk away if he wanted to. He’d never felt a need for those things with Steve — truth told, didn’t think he felt a need for them with Tony — but to have them nevertheless was… indescribable.

Tony nodded back, then released Bucky’s chin. “If you’re not fully down by the time I’m done, we’ll try some other things, but you’re so deep already… Let’s just see how this goes.” He brushed his hand over Bucky’s hair again, then turned to his work.

Quiet was easy; this wasn’t turning out to be one of Bucky’s talkative drops, anyway. But being still… Steve occasionally tied Bucky up, but didn’t often ask him to be still of his own volition. Bucky found himself grateful that Tony hadn’t asked for motionlessness, because simply not fidgeting was already hard enough. He caught himself squirming and wiggling several times, and forced down the impulse.

Be good, he reminded himself. Have to be good for Tony. Tony’s not Steve, Tony means… more? Well, not  _more_ , but there was more at stake, if he messed it up. If he wasn’t good, Tony might not want him again, and that was—

He caught himself fidgeting again in dismay, and stopped again. He glanced up to see if Tony had noticed, but Tony seemed absorbed in working. That was a relief, but also something of a disappointment. He wanted Tony to notice him.

Not for being bad, though. He mustn’t be bad. He wanted Tony to want him again, more than he wanted Tony to look at him now. Didn’t he? Don’t be a brat, he chided himself.

He wished Tony would touch him again, then remembered that he had permission for touch. Gingerly, afraid of jostling Tony’s arm, he leaned in against Tony’s leg, laid his head against Tony’s thigh. That was better.

A moment later, Tony’s hand petted Bucky’s hair, then slid down his neck to rest on his shoulder. It felt warm and heavy, and with a soft shudder, Bucky relaxed into it. The hand lifted again a moment later, but that was all right. Tony hadn’t forgotten him. Bucky felt the warm darkness of the final drop reach up for him, and this time, he wasn’t nervous.

[ ](http://imaginetonyandbucky.tumblr.com/post/118050490142/)

***

When the darkness receded again, he was lying on something soft. There was a hand resting on his arm, warm and still. Bucky opened his eyes to find that he was back on the workshop couch with his head on Tony’s lap. Tony didn’t smell nearly so overwhelming now, and that was a relief. God, how long had he been out? He’d gone down so easily, so sweetly — and with nothing more than some self-restraint and a warm hand on his neck!

If Hydra had thought to capture his trust and loyalty with such a gentle drop, Bucky might never have come back at all. He shuddered at the thought.

At the movement, Tony looked over from the tablet in his free hand. “Welcome back,” he said with a faint smile.

"How long?" Bucky asked.

"I worked for about two hours, and then we’ve been over here for probably another hour," Tony said. "It’s almost two."

Bucky cringed. “Oh, god, I’m sorry.” He tried to sit up, but Tony’s hand on his arm pressed him back down.

"Don’t apologize. What are you apologizing for?"

"It’s so  _late_ —”

Tony snorted. “I routinely stay up until three or four, are you kidding? Stop it. Is this your version of sub drop, thinking you’ve hugely inconvenienced me somehow, or is it just because you don’t know me that well yet?”

Bucky twisted to look up at Tony’s face. He seemed to be honestly asking the question, not just talking to hear himself talk, so Bucky gave it some thought.

Had he ever thought he was annoying or inconveniencing Steve? Well, yes, early on, but eventually Steve had convinced him otherwise, and he’d stopped worrying about it. “The… second one. I think.”

Tony nodded. “Okay, I can work with that. I’m sorry if you’re cold; I only have the one blanket down here. This isn’t where I usually entertain.” He smiled sardonically at that, and Bucky let himself smile back.

"I’m okay," he said. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome." Tony’s hand moved from Bucky’s arm to stroke through his hair. "How are you feeling?"

Bucky took stock: he hadn’t done anything more physically taxing than kneeling on the floor for a couple of hours, and his skin was tingling all over. Mentally, he felt… better than fine. He felt refreshed and awake and more clear-headed than he’d felt in  _months_. “I feel great,” he told Tony. “Really, really fantastic, actually.”

Tony smiled, pleased. “That’s good. You surprised the hell out of me with this, you know. So now I’m forced to go all out of order.”

"Out of… order?"

Tony huffed. “I’d been trying to figure out how to convince you to date me, you know. On the assumption that you were baseline, and I know a lot of baselines won’t date Doms. For, possibly, some good reasons,” he admitted. “But I was marshalling my arguments.” He grinned down at Bucky. “I had the whole campaign nearly plotted out, you know. It was a thing of beauty. You were going to be helpless before my logic, dazzled by my brilliance, and swooning at my seduction.”

Bucky laughed, just a little, though his heart was pounding again, double-time. Tony had been planning to seduce  _him_? “If I thought I could’ve kept my secret under wraps,” he said shyly, “it wouldn’t have taken much convincing.”

"Yeah?" Tony’s head tilted, and his hand lifted away, an unsubtle cue for Bucky to sit up. "Because if you just need me as a backup to Steve, I can do that for you. I’m not… You don’t have to feel obligated to date me just because you need a Dom to bring you through your drops and keep it under wraps."

Bucky’s eyes widened. “You’d… do that? Keep it secret?”

Tony frowned at him. “Of course I would. I mean, I’m curious as hell how you managed to keep it quiet when Steve wasn’t around, but that’s your secret to tell, not mine. You want it to be a secret, then it’s a secret. Wouldn’t be hard: tell me the D-circuit in your arm needs a tune-up, and I’ll bring you down here and there’s a built-in excuse for us to be out of touch for a few hours. I’ll stock the place a little better next time.” He raised his eyebrows. “Though we’ll have to have that talk about limits and consent, because that was  _terrifying_.”

Bucky cocked his head in confusion. “I wasn’t scared,” he said.

"Good," Tony said. "I didn’t want you to be. But I was flying blind, without knowing any of your limits or triggers, and that’s nerve-wracking as hell. Honestly? I only did it because you were already dropping like a rock by the time you came down here, you were going down whether I helped you or not, and I was pretty sure whatever I managed was going to be better for you than a solo drop."

Bucky bit his lip. He hadn’t considered what it would mean to Tony, for him to show up out of the blue already half-dropped. “I’m sorry,” he said, and looked up quickly, before Tony could protest. “No, I am. That wasn’t fair to you.”

Tony considered that, then nodded. “Okay. But consider it forgiven. Accidents and emergencies happen. And I’m… glad you came to me, instead of suffering it out in silence up in your room or something.”

Bucky grimaced. “I was going to,” he admitted.

"I guessed. Or you’d have come to see me a lot earlier."

Bucky nodded, and pulled his knee into his chest and rested his chin on it. “What if we’re dating?”

"Do you really want to? What about it?"

"I just said it wouldn’t have taken much to convince me," Bucky pointed out. "I’ve been wracking my brain for… a while now, trying to figure out how to make it work without breaking my cover."

Tony grinned. “No chance of that. The instant your eyes start going wide, it’s a dead giveaway.” He started to reach across the space between them, hesitated, then did it anyway, dragging his thumb down the side of Bucky’s face, pushing his fingers into Bucky’s hair. Bucky leaned into the touch, enjoying it. “It’s gorgeous. I’m hoping to see it again soon.”

Bucky felt a blush rising and tried to ignore it. “Would you still keep the secret?” he asked. “If we were dating?”

"Mm." Tony didn’t answer right away, and Bucky appreciated that more than glib promises. Keeping up appearances as a baseline did throw a monkey wrench into a lot of options. After a moment, Tony said, "I would want to be able to say we were dating. You are, you are beautiful, and amazing, and I would want the world to know how lucky I am." He smiled at Bucky, almost sadly. "I could keep the rest under wraps in public. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve dated a baseline, so it wouldn’t be big news, not after the initial cycle, anyway. But I think you should trust the others on the team to know, if only so they’re not surprised in an emergency. We’re in a dangerous line of work, after all."

"Yeah." Bucky closed his eyes. "Can I… Can I think about that for a bit? A day or two?"

"Of course. I’m not going to ask you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, not ever." The hand in Bucky’s hair trailed down to his neck. Tony’s fingers felt good there, and Bucky suspected he already knew what his answer was going to be. He suspected Tony already knew, too, and was graciously giving him time to just… come to grips with it.

Hydra had used Bucky’s submissiveness to hurt him, to put him down, to chain him and punish him.

Tony, though, Tony would heal him and free him and teach him to fly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4-May-2015: Now with [art](http://36.media.tumblr.com/61422a161e98421b82a52f7ac17bd8c2/tumblr_nnrrjz1xhB1u7ktfio1_r1_500.jpg) from the talented and amazing Auripigmentum!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bucky's first date!

Tony walked into the common room to find the _entire team_ gathered. Plus extras. They weren’t even pretending to be subtle; all of them were staring at him with varying degrees of curiosity and glee. He glared. “You are all assholes,” he declared. “I want you out of my tower, effective immediately. Pack your bags; you’re all gone before breakfast.”

“We just wanted to wish you guys luck and see you off,” Bruce protested, laughing.

“Because you’re _assholes_ ,” Tony asserted. “There’s not enough pressure already?”

“It’s just a _date_ ,” Clint said, combing his fingers through Natasha’s hair. “Relax, would you?”

“Fuck you, it’s more than that and you know it,” Tony grumbled. He was absolutely not secretly touched by the show of support.

“We do know,” Steve said earnestly, crossing the room to put a comradely hand on Tony’s shoulder. “That’s why we’re here to explain that if you fuck this up, we will murder you and no one will ever find your body.”

Tony was startled into a laugh, and Steve grinned.

“Well, let’s be fair,” Pepper said from the far side of the room, where she was letting Darcy paint her fingernails, “some of us are here to offer that advice to _Bucky_.”

“Don’t you dare,” Tony said, turning his glare on her. “Christ, even as a joke, that is in terrible taste, Pep.”

“What’s in terrible taste?”

Tony whirled around to see Bucky emerging from the hallway. He looked… God, he looked _fantastic_ , even in jeans and a simple button-down shirt. The shirt had a Mandarin collar, and Tony wondered dazedly if that was deliberate, a subtle nod to the submissive collar that Bucky couldn’t wear without giving up his secret to everyone.

“Everything, probably,” Steve was saying. “But nothing to worry about. We’re just giving Tony a hard time.”

Bucky’s eyes widened and his step faltered when he realized the entire team was there. He had come out to all of them as a submissive over the last couple of weeks, but he’d done it privately, speaking with them in ones and twos. Tony was pretty sure this was the first full gathering he had faced. It was probably overwhelming, at best.

“They’re jerks,” Tony said, “but we already knew this. Don’t let it get to you.”

Bucky’s eyes swept the room again, and came to rest on Steve, just behind Tony. Whatever he saw in Steve’s expression must have firmed his resolve, because he gave a short, jerky nod, then looked back at Tony and took the few steps to close the distance between them. Before Tony could say anything, Bucky dropped to one knee and bowed his head, his hands hanging loose at his sides, though Tony was close enough to see that Bucky’s right hand was trembling a bit.

Tony was paralyzed by a dozen conflicting reactions: he wanted to show off how beautiful Bucky’s submission was, but he wanted to shield Bucky from all the eyes; he wanted to tell Bucky that formal presentation wasn’t necessary when they were among friends, but he wanted to see Bucky’s graceful kneeling over and over forever.

Behind him, someone sighed, and that snapped Tony out of his haze of indecision. He bent to catch up the still-trembling hand, squeezing it with what he hoped felt like reassurance. “Come on,” he said, making an effort to keep the tone of Command out of his voice. “Let’s get away from our asshole friends now.”

Bucky rose as smoothly as he’d knelt and glanced around the room again, his bottom lip caught in his teeth nervously.

“Have a good time,” Steve said, as easy and casual as ever, and just like that, the tension in the room broke as everyone seemed to start moving and talking to each other.

Still, as the elevator doors closed them into its quiet space, Tony couldn’t help but sag a little and sigh with relief. Bucky, conversely, actually straightened a little, and gave Tony a grin. “Reckon they’ll wait up for us?”

Tony snorted. “Wouldn’t surprise me. Remind me to check with JARVIS before we get back and see where they’re lying in wait, and we’ll find a way around them.”

Bucky’s grin widened. “You think we’ll be able to out-sneak Clint and Tasha?”

“Probably not, but if they realize we’re trying to avoid them, they might give us a courtesy pass. At least until morning.”

“You’re a lot more optimistic about that than I am,” Bucky observed cheerfully. “Might be easier if I just called Steve and asked him to clear everyone out of the way.”

“I suppose we could do that,” Tony allowed. “Feels sort of like cheating, though.” Bucky laughed, and Tony smiled, glad that Bucky was more at ease now. He led the way out of the elevator and across the lobby. “You’re okay walking, I hope? We’re only going a few blocks.”

“Walking is fine,” Bucky agreed, though his eyes swept the evening crowds in the street cautiously. “Where’re we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Tony said, and was delighted at the way Bucky rolled his eyes.

They’d gone most of a block when Tony gave in to his restless thoughts and asked, “So, and I promise there are no wrong answers here, you want to tell me what was up with that little show?”

Bucky’s cheeks pinked and he scanned the street again, probably for potential eavesdroppers. “Um. It’s… They all know now, and I’m not contracted, and the rule for an uncontracted sub entering a room with more than one Dominant–”

“Are you seriously suggesting that in a room containing Clint Barton, Darcy Lewis, and Steve Rogers – not to mention the rest of us – you think anyone’s going to worry about _etiquette_?” A thought struck, and Tony narrowed his eyes. “Unless – I know you asked me to stay out of it and let you handle telling them, so I did, but if any of them even _hinted_ that you need to start ‘acting your place’ or something horrible like that, I swear to god I will–”

Bucky caught up Tony’s hand and squeezed. “No! No one said anything horrible, I promise. They were all really… nice, actually. I mean, they were pretty surprised, but… Tasha passes for baseline sometimes, when she’s doing her thing, so I guess they weren’t too shocked?” He glanced at Tony quickly, then looked at the pavement just in front of his feet. “It wasn’t that. It was… It’s hard to put into words. I wanted to show that… I know you’re making sacrifices and giving up status, by pretending to date a baseline. I wanted to… To show that I’m grateful, that I _can_ … can be good.”

“Hm.” Tony stopped, pulling them to the side away from other foot traffic, and turned to face Bucky. “I’m a genius billionaire superhero philanthropist,” he said mildly. “My status is fine no matter who I choose to date. And since I haven’t been dating anyone for the last year or so, I’m not _giving up_ anything, and I wouldn’t be even if you actually _were_ baseline.”

Bucky didn’t quite shrug, but he didn’t meet Tony’s eyes, either.

Tony put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder instead, not quite forcing him to look up, but encouraging it. “Furthermore, you don’t have to be good for me. This is just a date. It doesn’t obligate you to anything. I’m not taking you out so that you’ll feel required to go to bed with me, or let me take you under, or even kiss me good night.”

Bucky finally looked up, but the way his mouth was set, Tony thought it had needed an act of will. “You _want_ all those things from me, though,” he challenged. “Don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Tony said, surprised into half a laugh. “Have you looked in the mirror lately? I am, frankly and transparently, very much hoping to convince you that you’d like to give me all of it. But if I expected it – or worse, _demanded_ it – I’d be an even worse asshole than the media likes to paint me.”

Bucky’s posture eased a little, and he smiled tentatively. “Not sure that’s actually possible.”

“Well, it depends whether we’re talking CNN or Fox, obviously,” Tony said, smirking, and tightened his hand on Bucky’s shoulder before releasing him and starting to walk again. “Just so we’re clear,” he said, more seriously, “I’m not any kind of traditionalist. I _liked_ it, don’t get me wrong – but I am not in any position to insist on it, and probably wouldn’t even if I were.”

“And if I wanted to do it?” Bucky asked, cocking his head.

Tony grinned. “Then I am one hell of a lucky guy.”

Bucky hummed and looked at their surroundings. “Are we going to the park?” he asked.

“Yes, actually.”

“A picnic in the park? For our first date?” Bucky grinned wider. “Could you be any more cheesy?”

“It’s not that bad,” Tony protested.

“It’s _awful_ ,” Bucky said, laughing. Tony might have been hurt if Bucky hadn’t taken his arm and pressed close as he continued fondly. “It’s _terrible_. Even in my day, a picnic was a date for saps and losers. You’re terrible at this.”

“Shut up,” Tony laughed. “You’re an asshole. Why am I doing something nice for you again?”

“Because you can blackmail me into keeping quiet about your tragic romantic streak?” Bucky guessed, still snickering.

Tony looked at him sharply, but he was still smiling and teasing, so Tony pulled on a mock-offended expression. “Why would I waste good blackmail on that? I’m saving it to make sure you don’t run off with my secret recipe for smoothies.” Bucky laughed again and kept hold of Tony’s arm.

Tony led Bucky into the park and along the walking paths until he found the spot he’d staked out and the man he’d hired to set it up. “All set, Jack?” he asked.

“Yessir, Mr. Stark,” Jack said. “The park should be clear in another half-hour or so, and there’ll be a car waiting by the west gate if you decide you want it.”

“Good man,” Tony said. “Clear on out now.”

“You got it,” Jack said. “Enjoy your evening, sir.” He nodded pleasantly to Bucky before heading back down the path they’d just come up.

Bucky was looking at him blankly.

“What?”

“Tell me you did not have an entire park cleared so we could have dinner,” Bucky said.

“What? No!” Tony tugged Bucky down the path a little further, to where they could see the picnic set up, a soft blanket and a few pillows on the grass, a small, low table beside it with the basket of food. “It closes at sundown anyway. I just arranged for extended hours for us.”

“You arranged for–” Bucky cut himself off with a huff. “This level of extravagance is gonna take some gettin’ used to.”

“The Brooklyn really comes out when you’re flummoxed,” Tony observed. “Kinda cute.” Bucky gave him a flat look and he threw up his hands in defeat. “This is really not that extravagant for me,” he said. “You can ask Pepper. I wanted some privacy. I could’ve gotten us a room at a restaurant, but even then there would be waitstaff to deal with, and the possibility of eavesdroppers.”

“Privacy,” Bucky said thoughtfully, his eyebrows inching upward.

Tony grimaced. “Not– look, I know you’re not always at your best in crowds, and I want us to be able to talk without censoring ourselves or talking in code. I’m not planning to try to seduce you in the middle of the park!”

“No? That’s too bad.” Bucky smirked. “Maybe another time.”

Tony nearly choked on a laugh. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Bucky grinned as they settled on the blanket. “Am I supposed to hand-feed you like in one of those old movies? _Peel me a grape, slave_?”

Tony reached into the basket for a bottle of water. “Are there grapes? Do they need to be peeled?” He drank a few swallows, and folded his arms across his knees. “Even baseline couples feed each other on picnics, I suppose. It wouldn’t blow your cover.”

Bucky shook his head, smiling at Tony’s rambling, but rummaged in the basket and came up with a strawberry, bite-sized and already hulled. “You’re worrying too much about that,” he said, offering it to Tony.

Tony let Bucky feed him the fruit. “I’m really not,” he said. “You asked me to keep the secret, and I’m keeping it.”

Bucky fished out another strawberry and popped into his own mouth. “I might be changing my mind about that,” he said slowly.

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Are we re-negotiating terms already?”

Bucky actually flushed, which was surprising, and bit down on his lip. Tony wanted to reach up and tease it out, to soothe the indented flesh with kisses. To command Bucky not to hurt or chastise himself, because that was Tony’s privilege.

Except it wasn’t, really, not yet, so Tony schooled his hands to stillness and waited. Sometimes, the best show of control was patience.

“I… I didn’t know,” Bucky finally said, looking down at his hands. “Steve carrying me through my drops, that was _necessary_ , that was just… us. Like me helping him breathe when his lungs weren’t workin’ right, or fixing up a hot water bottle for the pain in his hips from his spine being all twisted, or readin’ to him when he was laid up… We helped each other through our stuff that we didn’t want and couldn’t help.

"And then Hydra–” Bucky choked to a stop, pressing his fists into his eyes.

“Hey,” Tony said. He pushed up onto his knees and curled his hands around Bucky’s wrists, not trying to pull them away, but offering his presence. “Listen to me. What Steve did for you, that was… maybe not ideal, but it was valid. You were getting what you needed, and if you didn’t let yourself think too much about more, well, you’re neither the first nor the last person on Earth to settle for something subpar because they think they can’t have what they really want. But Hydra, Hydra doesn’t even count. They weren’t dominating you, they were _torturing_ you. And what you eventually were forced to give them wasn’t submission, it was  _surrender_. It’s not the same, it’s _not_.

"And I’m sorry you went through that. I’m sorry they hurt you and I’m sorry they used your own body against you and I’m sorry they broke you.” Tony dragged his thumbs across the backs of Bucky’s hands, flesh and metal alike, grounding and reassuring. “But I’m especially sorry that they did it before you ever had a really good experience. Because they took something that you thought of as a nuisance and made it into a nightmare, and now you’re too afraid of it to learn how _good_ it can be.”

Bucky made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “Terrified,” he agreed, “except you… you make me want it, too. I didn’t know I could want it, I always thought… but ever since that night, I’ve wanted it. With you.”

“Bucky,” Tony breathed. He couldn’t say any more, his heart in his throat.

Bucky lowered his hands and looked at Tony, and his eyes were full of fear and hope and longing, so overwhelming that all Tony could do was pull him into a hug, tucking Bucky’s face against his neck to hide the ache of that expression. “When I knelt for you earlier,” Bucky said, his breath warm against the skin of Tony’s neck, “it was like… like sitting in a roller coaster right when it starts to move – too late to back out now. Not really _wanting_ to back out, but still nervous. Scared and excited and then, then just…” His shoulders hunched in a half-shrug.

“Exhilarating?” Tony suggested, and Bucky nodded, relaxing against him. Tony slipped his fingers into Bucky’s hair, combing through it soothingly. “Like you don’t know what’s coming next, but you hope it will be fun.”

Bucky laughed, just a soft huff of air. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Good,” Tony said. “That’s how it should be, sometimes.” He kissed Bucky’s temple with a sigh. “And if you tell me you don’t want it to be a secret anymore, then I believe you, and I even approve for reasons that have only a _little_ to do with stroking my ego. But it’s a big step, and I don’t want you to get caught up in a moment and do something you’ll regret later. So we’re going to sit on that decision for at least twenty-four hours and sleep on it and consider all the ramifications before we actually _do_ anything about it.”

Bucky made a sound of protest. “But I’ve been–”

“I said _no_ ,” Tony said, quiet but firm, lowering his voice to Command registers. Bucky stiffened and started to pull away, but Tony tightened his hold and Bucky subsided. “It’s all right,” Tony soothed, stroking his fingers through Bucky’s hair again. “I’m not upset. But even if you’ve been thinking about it for a while, it’s a change for me. I am quick on my feet if I have to be, but we don’t have to rush this. It’s a gorgeous night, and we have the whole park to ourselves. Let’s just relax and talk and eat, okay?”

Bucky hesitated a moment, then nodded. He slowly sat back, and this time Tony let him go. His eyes weren’t red or desperate any more, maybe even a touch relieved. He looked at Tony, and Tony looked back, and finally Bucky smiled and said, “Can I still feed you?”

Tony laughed and leaned back on his elbows. “Persistent, aren’t you? Fine, then, go on and peel me a grape.”

***

The Tower was suspiciously quiet when they got back, and Tony wondered if Bucky had actually texted Steve to clear their path while Tony had been packing the empty basket and grass-stained blanket into the car for his staff to collect before their walk back. They had walked holding hands like kids, and though the streets of Manhattan weren’t ideal for stargazing, they had meandered slowly through the streets, peering into shop window displays and gossiping about their friends.

Who maybe hadn’t deserved to be the butt of gossip, if they had conspired to give Tony and Bucky a clear path back to their rooms.

Well, they’d all gathered to see them off, so maybe they deserved it a _little_ bit.

Bucky’s hand twitched in Tony’s as the Avengers’ private elevator slowed and stopped at Bucky’s floor. “Gonna see me all the way home?” he asked, both teasing and not.

“I thought I would, yes,” Tony said, projecting calm and confidence that were at least half lies.

“Yeah?” Bucky stepped backward out of the elevator and pulled Tony with him. “Want to step in for a nightcap?”

Tony laughed. “I’m pretty sure that line was old when you were a kid. And no, no nightcaps for me. I might risk trying for a kiss good night, though.”

Bucky’s expression shifted too fast for Tony to interpret – disappointed? relieved? a little of both? – before it settled back into teasing. “ _Might_? My door’s right here; you’d better make up your mind about that pretty quick.”

“Oh, well, I’ve already tipped my hand, so I might as well,” Tony said philosophically. He crowded Bucky up against the door and cupped Bucky’s face in his hands.

Bucky leaned against the door and rested his hands on Tony’s hips. His eyes were round and his pupils wide and dark, but the sly twist of his lips suggested he was still in control of his mental faculties. “Well then, give it a try and see if I shoot you down or not.”

Tony grinned and leaned in closer, until his lips were almost brushing Bucky’s with each word. “If you’re going to let me down, try and let me down easy,” he said.

Bucky shivered and licked his lips, and Tony paused for a second longer to appreciate the sight of him like this, eyes closed and mouth just barely open, broadcasting his desire but waiting for Tony to grant it. “You,” Tony whispered, tracing Bucky’s lower lip with his thumb, “could go to a Dom’s head.”

Tony kissed him, soft and gentle, and then harder. Bucky sighed into it, and then moaned, just a little. Tony licked and nipped at Bucky’s lips, teasing, holding Bucky’s head in place so he couldn’t chase after it when Tony moved back.

“Tony, _Tony_ ,” he groaned, and Tony’s tongue darted into his mouth, tracing the inner edge of his lips, sliding along Bucky’s tongue.

Bucky’s hands tightened on Tony’s hips, pulling him closer. Tony hummed into the kiss and slid a leg between Bucky’s thighs, pressing in with a slow undulation until Bucky whimpered and thrust against him, desperately seeking friction.

When Tony finally pulled away, Bucky sagged back against the door, panting for breath, lips swollen and red. “Christ,” he gasped. “Thought… Thought you said you _weren’t_ comin’ in tonight.”

“Oh, I’m not,” Tony said, and leaned in for another fast, dirty kiss that made Bucky shudder all over. “You’re walking through that door by yourself, in just one minute.” Tony pressed closer and nipped at Bucky’s ear. “You’ll call Steve or whatever the two of you have worked out so he knows you’re okay.”

“How did you–”

“I know Steve. After you talk to him, I want you to get undressed and lie down on top of the bed, and then I want you to stroke off.”

Bucky shivered out a laugh. “Was prob'ly gonna do that anyway,” he admitted.

“Good.” Tony nipped at Bucky’s neck. He was tempted to leave a mark, but… not yet. He licked over the spot. “While you’re doing that, I want you to think about me. I want you to think about exactly where in the room I should be so I can get the best view, because sometime soon, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”

“Oh _god_ ,” Bucky said, and he dropped his head forward, resting it on Tony’s shoulder, trembling with reaction. Tony stroked the back of his neck soothingly.

“I want you to think about that. I want you to think about how this feels, right now, my body against yours, and then I want you to think about putting on a show for me, about exactly how gorgeous you can be while I watch you get off. Think about my eyes on you while you touch yourself, about me telling you how beautiful you are, how good you are. Think about whether I’ll give into the temptation to touch you myself… Will you do that for me?”

Bucky nodded against Tony’s shoulder. “Yessir,” he whispered, barely loud enough to hear despite how close they were.

“That’s good,” Tony said. “Very good.” He kept rubbing the back of Bucky’s neck for a moment, then pulled back a little. “Look at me now.”

Bucky looked up. His pupils were wide and dark with lust, but he didn’t have the dazed air of a dropping sub. Still, Bucky had been hiding those symptoms since he’d first had them, and Tony wasn’t familiar with his particular tells yet, so: “Are you dropping right now? Tell me the truth, please.”

Bucky dragged in a breath and frowned a little as he took stock. “I don’t… think so. Doesn’t feel like it. Just really, _really_ , uh, horny.”

Tony grinned. “Well, that was the plan.” He made sure he’d caught Bucky’s eyes. “If you think you’re starting to drop, call me – or Steve if you’d rather – but _don’t_ drop alone. Got me?”

Bucky nodded. “Yessir.”

“Good.” Tony pulled Bucky in close for another kiss, slower and softer this time, but with plenty of heat, still, and then released him entirely. “Thank you,” Tony said with a warm and genuine smile, “for a wonderful evening. Have fun with your homework, now.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexytime (yay!) and commitment issues (boo!)

Bucky woke before dawn, though according to the clock, not much before. That wasn’t unusual; Bucky had always been an early riser, and even moreso since he’d been shot up with Zola’s bastard serum. The warm body next to him on the bed was newer, though, a bright and unexpected joy that Bucky was still getting used to.

He stretched and then carefully wriggled his way into turning over without dislodging the arm draped over his side. Tony didn’t budge, and Bucky allowed himself a foolishly sentimental smile as he watched Tony sleeping, hair in wild disarray, beard partially obscured by dark stubble, sleep-crust clinging to eyelashes.

Christ, he really  _did_  have it bad if he was being charmed by sleep-crust.

The last few months had been so  _good_ , though. They’d gone on dates. They’d weathered the surprisingly brief media storm when their relationship had been discovered and Bucky had come out to the world. They’d had sex, of course, and Bucky had been startled to discover that Tony didn’t want him to be submissive all the time in bed, or even most of the time. (Tony had laughed when Bucky had expressed surprise at that, but all Bucky’s previous experience had been with baselines who’d thought Bucky was also baseline. He was forced to admit that he’d formed certain assumptions about Doms and sex.) Then Bucky had learned that when he  _did_  submit to Tony – in bed or out of it – the experience was like nothing he’d ever even thought to hope for. When Tony took control, it didn’t feel like it was because Bucky was weak or inferior or broken, but because Tony wanted to give Bucky a gift.

Bucky had spent most of his life thinking that he had to hide his nature or be a slave – a lesson Hydra had been all too willing to reinforce – but Bucky had never felt more free.

He watched Tony sleeping beside him, and his breath caught on a swell of feeling, too overwhelming to try to name. As predawn light began to filter in through the picture windows, Bucky lifted the blanket carefully and scooted down the mattress, leaving soft, wet kisses down Tony’s skin, careful not to wake his sleeping lover. By the time he reached his goal, Tony’s cock was already filling, and Bucky hummed in quiet pleasure as he began to tease around the head with his tongue.

He kept his movements slow and gentle until Tony groaned and groped groggily beneath the blankets. Tony’s fingers curled into Bucky’s hair and he began to suck in earnest, hollowing his cheeks and probing at the leaking slit with the tip of his tongue.

“Bucky, god,” Tony sighed. “Sweetheart, yes, yes, so good, you’re so good…” His grip on Bucky’s hair tightened suddenly, holding Bucky steady. “Take it,” Tony said, voice almost growling with Command, “take it for me.” Bucky moaned around him as Tony’s hips thrust up, hard and uneven, and then he was coming, hot and bitter down Bucky’s throat.

By the time Bucky had finished swallowing and catching his breath, Tony was pulling him back up the bed and licking into his mouth. “So wonderful,” Tony sighed happily. “You’re so good to me.” Tony’s hand was between them, curling around Bucky’s cock now. “Afraid it’ll have to be fast this morning, babe. Got a meeting I can’t get out of.”

Bucky shuddered into the touch. “Won’t take much,” he promised. “Half-gone on you all the time as it is.”

Tony laughed and kissed his way up Bucky’s jaw, aiming for the sensitive spot just under Bucky’s ear. “Flatterer,” he teased.

Bucky, already chasing after a breath, couldn’t respond. Tony had been as quick a study in this as he was in practically everything. He knew exactly how to touch Bucky: how tight to grip Bucky’s cock, how to ghost his breath across the skin of Bucky’s neck, how to drag the callus of his thumb across Bucky’s slit, how hard to bite Bucky’s shoulder, how fast to pump his hand. Tony knew how to take care of Bucky.

Bucky arched into Tony’s hand. “Tony,” he managed, gasping, “Tony,  _please_.”

Tony chuckled, dark and low and happy against Bucky’s throat. “Please what, sweetheart? Tell me what you want.”

Bucky whined. “I want to come, Tony. Tell me I can come. Please.”

“Oh, do you need permission, this morning?” Tony asked.

Bucky nodded frantically. He was  _there_ , he could feel the heat curling down his spine, sparks as his balls tightened, but he couldn’t  _let go_ , not until Tony  _said_ –

Tony was pushing him over onto his back, then, and sucking and biting a mark into his shoulder, and Bucky’s whine went thin and reedy. “Please,  _please_.”

“Shh, I’ve got you,” Tony promised, even as Bucky’s sense of urgency was ratcheted up another notch. “I’m going to take care of you.”

“Tony!”

“All right,” Tony said, gentle and soothing, as if it wasn’t his own hand and mouth making Bucky incoherent with need. “Come for me now, sweetheart. Let it go.”

Two more strokes and Bucky’s body arched violently as he spattered his chest and belly with come, silent only because every bit of breath had already left his body. Tony stroked him through a second surge, and a weak third, and smiled as Bucky collapsed back to the mattress, gasping for air.

“Good morning to you, too,” Tony said, eyes sparkling.

“Nnng,” Bucky groaned, but he managed to reach up with his left hand to brush his fingers across Tony’s cheek.

Tony caught the hand and kissed the palm, warmth and pressure registering in that strange not-quite-centered feeling Bucky got from the mechanical arm. “I wish I could stay,” Tony said regretfully, “but I really do have a meeting in” –he twisted to look at the clock– “fuck, an hour, and I need to shower first.”

Bucky nodded. It was a big meeting; Tony had been preparing for it for days. “I’m fine,” he said. “Go on.”

Tony sat up, but held on to Bucky’s hand. “You’re sure you’re–”

“Go,” Bucky stressed, pulling his hand reluctantly free. “Didn’t really go under, but I promise I will call Steve if I need backup before you’re back. Toss me a washcloth before you get in the shower and I’m golden.”

Tony grinned wide and leaned down for a fast, hard kiss, then all but jumped out of the bed and headed for the bathroom.

***

Bucky stared at the email program. Then he checked to make sure it wasn’t logged into Tony’s or Steve’s account by accident, but no, that was his name at the top of the screen.

Why the hell was Pepper Potts sending him email? She barely knew him.

Bucky hesitated, then clicked on it.

_Bucky, I know you and Tony probably haven’t talked about contracting yet, but you’ve been together for a while now and I thought you might want to prepare – because of his history and who he is, Tony’s base contract is a little more detailed than most, and I don’t know if it would occur to him to warn you about that before having his personal contracts lawyer send it around for your review. I’m enclosing a copy here, unofficially, so you can look it over and be thinking about any changes or additions you’d want to suggest when the time comes. –Pepper_

Bucky’s heart was hammering in his chest. A  _contract_? Tony hadn’t ever  _mentioned_  wanting a contract. A contract meant legal entanglements. A contract meant that Bucky was  _owned_ again, and he couldn’t, he  _couldn’t_ , not even for Tony, it didn’t matter, it didn’t–

Somehow, Bucky was on the far side of the room from the computer now, watching it warily, as if it were a venomous snake about to strike.

It was a mistake. It had to be a mistake. Pepper was leaping to conclusions, trying to anticipate Tony’s needs like she always did, and she’d just miscalculated this time, right?

Unless. Unless Tony  _did_  want a contract, and just hadn’t said anything to Bucky yet. He would tell Pepper, if he were to tell anyone. She practically ran Tony’s life for him, she would almost  _have_  to know. And Tony was a planner. He’d want to have everything ready to go, the document ready for signatures, before he brought it up, wouldn’t he?

It was plausible. Shit, shit,  _shit_. Bucky had thought they were fine as they were, but of _course_  Tony would want more. Would want to formalize things. Would want tangible proof of his ownership of Bucky. Would want to see Bucky in his collar.

A collar,  _damn it_ , contracts were usually represented with a collar, weren’t they?  _Fuck_. The last collar Bucky had worn had been Hydra’s, a heavy leather thing with a steel ring on the back that they had used to lock his head into place for the memory wipes–

Bucky crouched in the corner of the room, as far from the computer as he could get, and covered his head with his arms, trying to remember how to breathe.

He couldn’t, he  _couldn’t_. Not a collar, not that press against his throat, the catch and ache against his Adam’s apple every time he swallowed, hands grabbing at the ring and yanking him off balance just for laughs when his master wasn’t loo–

No,  _no_. Bucky clenched the sides of his head and forced himself to remember. There were no  _masters_  here. The Avengers had been nothing but kind to him; they would never be so cruel. And Tony kept saying he wasn’t a traditionalist. Maybe he would let Bucky choose the collar, pick something loose and soft, something more symbolic than functional.

But the thought of even a symbolic collar made him feel cold. And he couldn’t so much as look at the computer with its waiting terrors.

He fought the panic for another long minute, then gave up and fled to his own room and the bed he hadn’t slept in for more than a month.

***

He didn’t sleep, but was startled out of a blank daze by a knock at the door.

“Bucky?”

Shit, that was Tony. Bucky sat up and then immediately froze. He wanted to fling the door open and throw himself at Tony’s feet, to fold himself into Tony’s warmth and beg Tony to make everything clear and calm – but on the other hand, Tony might want a contract and a collar and–

Bucky wrapped his arms around his knees and shivered, trapped between desire and fear.

After a long moment, he heard Tony sigh. “Having a bad day? Should I come in, or do you want some time alone?”

Both, Bucky wanted to say, but that wasn’t possible.

The door wasn’t locked, but Tony had always been very respectful of Bucky’s privacy. (Would Tony continue to respect Bucky’s privacy if they had a contract?) If Bucky didn’t say something soon, though, Tony might suspect an emergency and come in anyway. “Alone,” he managed to croak. “Please.”

“All right, sweetheart,” Tony said. “If that’s what you want. JARVIS will tell you where to find me when you’re ready to come out, okay?”

Bucky didn’t answer, and after a moment, he heard Tony’s footsteps moving back down the hall.

That stung, somehow, even though it was exactly what he’d asked for. Bucky rested his forehead on his arm and cursed quietly under his breath. They were not starring in some vapid subchub film, Bucky reminded himself; a contract was not going to suddenly turn Tony into a mustache-twirling villain of a Dom, any more than it was the magical doorway to Happily Ever After.

Tony wasn’t going to tie Bucky to the metaphorical railroad tracks if he refused a contract, or drop him and leave him hanging, or anything else terrible. Bucky had no reason to believe that Tony’s reaction to a refused contract would be anything less than graceful and dignified and respectful. At worst, at  _worst_ , it would quietly end their relationship, and Bucky would have to turn back to Steve for his cycles.

(But oh god, it would ache to go back to those plain, utilitarian, bread-and-water drops when Tony had taught him what it was to be hand-fed with richer and more intoxicating fare.)

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut. It will be okay, he told himself, but he couldn’t force himself to believe it.

He wasn’t sure how much later it was that there was another knock at the door. Bucky tensed all over, hope and dread warring again and lodging a lump in his throat like he was trying to swallow an acorn.

“Buck? Hey, you okay?”

That was Steve. Bucky sagged with relief (and disappointment, but mostly relief).

“Buck? Tony said you were having a bad day. Can I come in?”

Bucky hesitated. “Yeah,” he said finally.

The door opened to reveal Steve, looking so worried and determinedly sympathetic that it set Bucky’s teeth on edge. Bucky dropped his head back down onto his arm so he wouldn’t have to look at Steve.

The door closed, and then the mattress dipped as Steve sat beside him. “Wanna talk about it?”

Bucky shook his head, but then said, “If Tony… If Tony and I were to call it quits, would you carry my drop cycles again?”

Steve shifted, but Bucky didn’t look up at him. “Of course I would,” Steve said, voice low and careful. “But I thought you two were doing really well. What happened? Did you have a fight?” Steve paused. “Tell me he didn’t–”

“No,” Bucky said, galvanized into speech by Steve’s darkening tone. “He’s fine, he didn’t… It’s not him, it’s me. He doesn’t know.”

A soft warmth gave an instant’s warning before Steve’s hand was on Bucky’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m confused,” Steve admitted quietly. “What doesn’t Tony know?”

Bucky shook his head.

“Come on, Buck, talk to me. Start at the beginning. What happened? How did it start?”

Bucky dragged in a breath. “There was an email,” he managed.

Steve waited a moment for him to continue, then prompted, “An email from Tony?”

“No. From Pepper.”

“Huh. Okay. What did it say?”

“It… She…” Bucky couldn’t wedge the words past his teeth.

The mattress shifted again as Steve leaned, and then resettled. Steve nudged Bucky lightly with his elbow, and Bucky looked up to see Steve holding Bucky’s tablet. “Would it be easier to let me read it?” he asked. He looked straight into Bucky’s eyes, and if Bucky’s face was red and tear-streaked, Steve didn’t comment on it.

Bucky wordlessly took the tablet and keyed in his lock code, then pulled up the email and passed it back to Steve before dropping his head back to his arm.

“Hm,” Steve said, and then Bucky heard the soft tapping of Steve’s fingers on the glass, and the quiet rustling sound of the document reading program opening. Was he actually reading the contract? “Huh,” Steve grunted in apparent surprise, but then he fell quiet again, leaving Bucky no hint of what he was thinking.

Bucky heard the periodic soft drag of Steve’s finger across the glass, punctuated by more soft grunts and hums, all infuriatingly vague, for what seemed a maddeningly long time. Finally, Steve said, “Okay, so… you got this email. And then?”

And  _then_? What other  _then_  could there possibly be? How could Steve not see what this meant? He’d never failed to grasp Bucky’s position before.

Bucky looked up and stared incredulously at Steve’s concerned confusion. “I can’t– it’s a  _contract_ , Steve! I just  _can’t_.” Bucky shivered and wrapped his arms around himself tighter. “Not even for– for Tony.” The name came out as half a sob, and Steve wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Hey, Buck, it’s okay,” he soothed. “You know Tony would never make you do anything you didn’t want.”

“I know. But no one is going to stay in a relationship with someone who can’t give them what they need,” Bucky said miserably.

“Bucky–”

“And I wouldn’t ask it of him,” Bucky continued. “That… wouldn’t be fair to him. But I can’t be  _owned_  again, Stevie.”

“Of course you can’t,” Steve said readily. “But… Did you actually look at this contract, Buck?”

“What’s to look at? No matter how gilded, it’s still a cage.”

“Mm, maybe,” Steve said, and Bucky had no trouble identifying that  _trying to reason with a brick wall_  tone. “Except of course for Section 23, which states the submissive’s right to terminate the contract at any time, with or without a stated reason.”

“But I don’t–”

“I’m not a lawyer, but it looks pretty clear to me. And if he’s the one to end it, there’s a whole list of services and provisions he has to provide afterward. Then there’s a two-page list of specific reparations and penalties for various failures on – to be fair – both sides. At least four paragraphs that I spotted with open spots to insert the sub’s particular preferences. And clause after clause about the preservation of rights. And I know I’m a Dom and maybe my perspective is skewed because of it, but… this doesn’t read like a cage to me, Bucky. It reads like shelter.”

Steve’s voice had remained low and calm throughout, but there was a light in his eyes. Bucky swallowed hard, trying to even comprehend everything Steve had said.

“Furthermore,” Steve said, “it might be worth pointing out that Pepper’s note specifically said she knew the topic hadn’t come up yet. She’s guessing it might be relevant, but there’s no hint here that this is something Tony wants for you. You made that leap on your own.”

Bucky started to argue, but then realized that Steve was… well, probably right. Whatever Tony might have told Pepper, he hadn’t said anything to Bucky about it, not a single word. Not even in jest, or as a vague future probability of maybe-someday.

Steve was grinning now, watching Bucky’s expression contorting as he sorted through the mess of his thoughts to find the truths at the core and separate them from the shadows of fear and panic. “There you go,” Steve said fondly. “I’m always going to be here for you. Always. But I don’t think I’m really needed this time. I think what you need is to go talk to him.”

Bucky felt a flush climbing his neck. Christ, could there be anything more embarrassing than admitting to Tony that he’d fallen apart at the slightest  _hint_  of control?

Steve’s arm around him tightened briefly. “I won’t tell him exactly how far you ran once you got the bit in your teeth,” Steve said, both teasing and reassuring. “If you promise to actually look the damn contract over first, so you know what you’re arguing about.”

Bucky bit his lip and ducked his head. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Yeah, okay.”

***

Tony was in the workshop, of course, though he didn’t seem to be especially busy at the moment, just sitting on the couch watching the news and making notes on what looked like a schematic for a circuit board. He looked up when Bucky was about halfway across the room and his face lit up with a smile that made Bucky’s insides twist with both joy and guilt. He closed the file with a careless hand-swipe, and silenced the television with another gesture. “Bucky! I wasn’t sure I’d get to see you tonight. Feeling better?”

Bucky pulled in a shaking breath as he crossed the last few steps between them, then folded to his knees and bowed his head.

Tony’s hand curled around the back of his neck immediately, and Bucky let the breath out, just as shaky. “Feeling formal tonight, sweetheart?” Tony asked, sliding forward to perch on the edge of the couch. “You’re not starting a cycle again already, are you? You didn’t say anything this morning.”

Bucky shook his head. “No,” he said. “I’m not dropping.” This might be easier, he thought, if he were. A high-energy drop, the sort that made him feel easy and loose and talkative, might help pry the words out of his throat. “I, um, I kinda fell into a– a bad place. In my head. Not, not super bad, but a little uncertain and… I just wanted to… To know you’ve got me, for a while.”

“Of course I’ve got you,” Tony promised, his hand tightening slightly. “Of course I do.”

Bucky let himself sink into the comfort of Tony’s touch for a moment, not entirely relaxing because he was trying to memorize every small sensation, just in case. After a moment he made himself say, “It’s not that simple, though.”

Tony didn’t argue or pull back in offense, though he paused long enough before he spoke that Bucky thought he probably had been caught a little off-guard by the response. But then he said, “Well, things rarely are. How about you put your head down, and tell me about it.” It didn’t come out as a question, but he hadn’t used his Command voice, either. 

Tony’s hand pressed on Bucky’s neck, urging him – a gentle pressure that Bucky could easily resist, if he wanted – to rest his head against Tony’s thigh.

Bucky didn’t resist, and the instant his head laid against Tony’s leg, Tony’s hand left his neck and began to stroke his hair instead. Bucky was looking away from Tony, and it made talking seem easier, suddenly, the contact and the faceless wall. “I got an email,” he said, and proceeded to pour out the entire thing: Pepper’s note and his own immediate and irrational reaction. The chain of fears, each more irrational than the last, and finally Steve’s intervention and suggestion.

Tony sat silent through the whole thing. Several times his hand in Bucky’s hair twitched or clenched in reaction, but it never withdrew entirely. When Bucky finally wound down, Tony let out a long, slow sigh. “Wow,” he said. “No wonder you were feeling overwhelmed. I don’t know if it will help or make matters worse, but in the interest of honesty: I didn’t say anything to Pep; that was entirely on her own initiative. But I  _have_  been thinking about contracts, some. I wasn’t going to say anything yet, because it didn’t seem like something you were looking for – guess I was right about that. But since the elephant is in the room now, I’ll just say it: If you changed your mind about wanting a contract, I would be… honored and delighted to tailor something that you will be entirely comfortable with, including a substitute for the traditional collar, or doing away with it entirely. But it’s not something I  _need_  from you, and it’s not going to affect how I feel about you – about  _us_  – at all.”

Tony’s hands both slid into Bucky’s hair, carefully tilting Bucky’s face up to look at him. “I don’t need a contract to tell me that you’re mine,” he said, “and I don’t need a collar to tell the rest of the world that, either.” He bent and kissed Bucky’s lips, just a brush of skin and breath. “You’re mine,” he said. “That’s all I need.”

Bucky wanted to cry. Or possibly laugh. He wrapped both arms around Tony’s waist and held tight, pressing his face against Tony’s side, shuddering in sudden reaction. “Tony,  _Tony_. God. I’m sorry, I should have trusted you more, I shouldn’t have–”

“Hey, no,” Tony said, rubbing at Bucky’s back. “I understand trust issues, I have a lot of experience with trust issues, and you have better reason than most to have a whole  _mountain_  of trust issues to climb over. You don’t have to apologize every time that road gets a little rocky. Or, you know, being a mountain, turns out to be entirely made of rocks. Or something. I don’t know, I’m an engineer; metaphors aren’t my strong suit.”

Bucky smiled, almost against his will. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Genius,” Tony corrected. “I’m a genius, I just can’t do metaphors. Are you laughing at my metaphor? Because I thought it was excellent, given the limited time I was given to work with. I’m feeling like I should somehow put a waterfall in there now just to liven the place up a bit, but I don’t know what that would represent…”

Bucky was laughing helplessly now. “You’re ridiculous,” he repeated, “and I love you.”

Tony froze, and only then did Bucky realize what he’d said. Before he could begin to worry, though, Tony was pulling him up into a kiss, sweet and hot and deep, and Bucky’s knees would have given out if he wasn’t already kneeling on the floor. When Tony finally pulled away, Bucky was dizzy with desire and panting for breath. “You’re mine,” Tony whispered against Bucky’s lips, “and I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I write Tony/Bucky shorts for the [imaginetonyandbucky](http://imaginetonyandbucky.tumblr.com/) blog, and post/reblog my little multishipper heart out at [everyworldneedslove](http://everyworldneedslove.tumblr.com/)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Falling (Not Flying)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5148911) by [HappyPoodle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyPoodle/pseuds/HappyPoodle)




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